threads & life >>>>>

coat - thrifted

lace top - vintage

floral top - thrifted

skirt - ebay

mocassins - h&m

threads >>>  i cleaned out my closet last week, and found a bunch of stuff i'd forgotten about. and after a few weeks of feeling a bit 'bleurgh', i woke up on monday morning and felt like dressing up. so i did. i've never been much of a long skirt kinda gal... but i'm quite liking how this looked {so much that i've ordered two more in different colours :) } the lace top is a vintage find i picked up a  fair earlier in the year. and my old faithful coat - cosy and snug i love it :) i'm happy the weather is cool enough to wear it again. i got these moccasin boots from h&m earlier in the year, comfy and pretty i'd been wanting a pair for ages. i'm trying to grow my fringe out a little, and i'm thinking about changing my hair up. i want to swap the black for a dark brown, and i'm considering getting rid of the red - either for turquoise or maybe blonde.... decisions, decisions.

life >>> life's been something of a rollercoaster ride the past month. so much is changing, and so many challenges have come our way. fingers crossed we're past the toughest and things are looking a little rosier. i'm feeling inspired and full of ideas right now. i've been doing some serious soul work in the intuitive heart sanctuary class that i am part of right now. also, i was lucky enough to win a place in soulodge - delving deep and exploring my shadow. so much of this is so perfectly timed, there is so much i need//want to work through, so much of me to explore and understand. i've been making more of a commitment to myself to drink water, to get enough sleep and to ground myself with plenty of outdoors time. i've been using the waterlogged app on my iphone to keep a track of my water intake. i'm aiming for 64oz each day, but the past couple i've been nearer to 72oz! my body is feeling good for all this fresh water :)

i've been reading a few herb books, ready for the apothecary circle that i signed up for. i'm looking forward to spending a year learning and working towards my certificate in home apothecary {there is still time to sign up - and if you use the code Herbs180 at checkout you'll save 15% off!}

i also finished the painting i mentioned on saturday - first time i've put brush to canvas in months. it felt so good and so healing. i'd forgotten just how much joy i get from painting. it's definitely something that i need to make more time for - what do you think of her?

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heartshaped stones

heart shaped stone and forgotten about boots

i've been feeling such a renewal beginning this week. the past few weeks have been tough personally, but i feel that that is finally passing, i feel i've learnt and grown so much in the past month. the last few days i've felt such a feeling of contentment. of joy and gratefulness for the amazing life that i am blessed with. for three beautiful daughters. a man who loves me. for the lovely friends i have {online and irl}. for this space. for a growing business. for the freedom to live life my way.

sometimes it takes a rough patch to make you appreciate all that you have. i'm feeling the urge to pick up a brush and paint. in truth, it's been a long time since i've painted. since i've felt inspired. i painted the background of a canvas last night. i'm hoping for some more painting time later. i gave a huge soulsigh to be back at this place of happiness.

the sun is shining here today, my garden is covered in a multicoloured patchwork blanket of autumn leaves. -the girls are all busy reading or crafting right now, we heading out in a bit to visit the old-fashioned sweet shop, and then having an indian takeaway as a treat this evening. fingers crossed it's dry tomorrow, and we're planning a hike - i can feel the river and the woods calling me.

peace

polly xo

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owls, birds and other things.....

here are a few paintings and collages that I've created recently :) can you tell i love owls???!

I'll be lisitng them in my etsy soon (and hopefully prints too!)

friends, food and fun..

This weekend was one of the best I've had for a long time. Saturday we had friends round in the afternoon for a BBQ. Thankfully the sun kept shining and we spent the whole afternoon laughing, eating and playing :) It was bliss! Then in the evening after I'd put 3 exhausted girls to  bed, we had a fire in the garden. The hubby and I sat around, drinking cider and chatting. As we live next door to a pub, we got to listen to the band they had playing too  - and I did some late night hula-hooping! I had taken a load of photos, but somehow when I went to upload them the next morning, they'd vanished off my camera :/

Sunday we were all still tired, and it was raining really heavy. So, we had one of those lovely lazy Sunday's. I made some playdoh for the little ones in the morning, which kept them occupied for a while. In the afternoon we watched a movie (Alpha & Omega) and had (what the girls call) a 'picky-dinner' - basically I put finger foods out on the table, they help themselves to a plate full of food and we sit on the floor to eat - indoor picnic style :)

I managed to do a bit more work on the patchwork blanket I am making out of old baby clothes. It only needs a bit more work and then I can finish it off!

I managed to sneak in some painting time over the weekend too, and finished this one off:

 Then yesterday I made a start on a new one - this was is the first layer of paint on the canvas, mapping out the feature. I don't tend to sketch an outline first. I'm excited to see how she will turn out!

 

I'll be back in a bit with this month's sponsor giveaway :)

What I Wore Wednesday

Well, the good news is I'm still loving my new hair cut :) Now I just need to get around to bleaching my roots and dying it and it'll look perfect!

It's a wet and windy day here... we're busy doing some housey tidying. I've just sorted through 3 little girls clothes, packed away what was too small, and filled the wardrobes with bigger, summer clothes. The youngest two have huge piles of hand me downs waiting for them. And I think we could probably clothe 6 little girls with the amount that we have!

Next on my list is to tackle my room. Since Baya moved out of the annexe on our room, I can finally have a walk-in- wardrobe!! No excuse anymore for the overflowing pile on the chair by my bed ;)

These outfit shots are from yesterday, when the rain held off and the sun shone (a little) I found the dress in a charity shop last summer, but didn't wear it much as I wasn't keen on the lenght. But I tried it on again over the weekend, and decided I actually like it now. Fickle, moi??! And, again, Baya spied me posing and came over to join in :)

dress: thrifted

lacy leggings: primark

shoes: thrifted

Remeber the painting I showed you a sneak peak of on Saturday?? Well, I finished it! (and started another!)

 

What do you think??? I'm really shy about sharing my artwork!! I'm thinking about putting some of the original paintings I've done up in my Etsy. Also, I opened up an account with DeviantArt (HERE) you can see some of my work (and purchase prints should you wish!!)

P.S all necklaces in my shop are now only $10 AND if you buy any necklace and earrings together, you get free shipping with coupon COMBISHIP

just for the fun of it...

It seems like months have passed since I last felt the urge to draw or paint. I'd hit a creative block and was lacking inspiration. I decided that I needed to just do it.. do it for fun and nothing more. To not put any expectations on what comes out. Just have fun!

I sat yesterday when the girls were playing on the WII and did some doodling. I used some pages from old books I've thrifted. And just let the pen lead the way! I enjoyed it - and that was the most important thing!!!

I also broke out the paints and have started work on a canvas :) a little art therapy is just what I am in need of!!

A morning to myself

The hubby has taken all 3 girls out to the cinema this morning (they're watching Gnomeo & Juliet!) so I've got a couple of hours to myself.

I love having the house to myself once in a while. I can listen to whatever music I like (Neil Young this morning)  without any complaints, and tackle some of my to-do list!!! This morning I'm finishing a couple of paintings, and starting a new one.

I have a couple of orders to post today, and I need to make a start on organizing Lola's 8th Birthday - which is just under 3 weeks away :O

The sun isn't shining today... which means I have no excuse to ignore my work any longer!

Don't forget that all this week you get a free pair of earrings with every necklace bought in my SHOP. Simply purchase both as usual, and in the message to seller write code 'riverfun' and I will refund the cost of the earrings :)

I'll be back this afternoon with a fantastic guest post.

lovely crafty fun

I saw this tutorial over on A Beautiful Mess on Sunday night and decided I wanted to make one. Here is the finished hat:

 

Now the girls want a hat knitting for them too! So looks like I'm going to be busy knitting for a bit longer yet!!!

On our walk through town yesterday we called in the craft shop to get some polystyrine balls to decorate and found some polystyrine angels too. So when the baby had a nap today, the big girls and I got painting:

And while we were waiting for my Mum's train to get in we popped into a charity shop to get out of the cold and found this fab teapot for the bargain price of 20p!

 

loves

In need of some TLC

I'm tired and feeling a tad blue this evening. I'm realsing the last few weeks, that when I get tired and run down I my emotions run wild. I start to feel those old feelings again, of not being good enough etc... I know that it's not real, and is simply becasue I'm run down.

I have so many things that I want to do. So many things  to try and squeeze into my days. The little one usually gets me up anywhere between half5 and 7 in a morning, then we're on the go constantly until they all go to bed btween 8 and 9 at night, I fall into my bed somewhere around 11 and usually get woken up at least once a night. I'm dreaming of the day when I can have a full nights sleep!

The last week I have done so much, as well as our normal family things, projects the girls are working on, reading, game playing, nature walks, meets with friends, I've been sewing like a demon. My head is full of ideas and I have a tendancy to get carried away once I start!!! I've made 8 tops and 5 bags this week - crazy ideas of selling them, either online or at craft shows, I don't know yet. I will post some pics later in the week and you can tell me what you think of them!

And last night, instead of the early night I'd planned, a flash of inspiration came and I painted the night away. I've had half an idea floating around my mind for couple of weeks, and last night it came to fruitation. Apologies for the rubbish photo - I took a few nad realised they were all terible but honestly don't have the energy to go take any more!

Tonight the girls are tired, so I'm going to get them to bed early(ish) and have a soak in a hot bath followed by an early night. Promise!

Tomorrow night I'm going to a knitting group organised by a girl I know./ Leaving Daddy in charge of bedtime for the first time (!) and going out on my own at night! Truthfully I'm a little nervous.... but I'm sure it will be fine.

A little bit of craftiness

 I'm back on a roll guys!! Yesterday was a GREAT day, I got loads done - finally found the energy and the motivation to do the housework, blitzed the whole place from top to bottom - it looks soooo much better now. If only it'd stay that way!

We did some thrifting in town in the morning, and found a couple of bits but nothing great. Then I pulled out my sewing machine, dusted it off (!) and made myself a new top (out of an old pillowcase) I'm pretty pleased with the results - I'll be making more I think. Looked to find some embellishments to brighten them up.

I've just finished listing 8 x 6 prints in my etsy shop. Hopefully will get the 10 x 8's listed this afternoon. I'll be running a giveaway later on this week - so stay tuned :)

And don't forget to come back tomorrow to check out Goddess Leonie's interview

Art = Joy

It's only been 7 months since I picked up my paintbrushes again, after I overcame my fear and ignored my gremlins telling me that I was no good. 7 months of finding my way creatively again and re-discovering my creative side. I'd forgotten how much creating something gives me a sense of peace... deep inside, when I'm painting I'm happy and calm. Fitting in some time every day to paint really helps to keep me sane. When I'm feeling blue, or stressed, or nervous, or insignificant. I turn off the computer and I paint. I can loose myself in a painting and nothing else matters. All my problems drift away for a while.

I'm slowly gaining some confidence in my work... I can see a VAST improvement over the last few months. And after 8 years of not having painted I have to expect to be a little rusty. One thing I have to remember is to not compare myself to other artists. I am painting for myself, I do not need (although sometimes I want) others validation. Comparing myself to others only ends in making me feel bad. I am learning to accept my painting as it is... to be happy with what I can do and not wish for more.

Painting really is the best therapy I've ever had!

Here are a couple of photos of some of what I've been working on recently:

Catching up

source

I'm full of cold right now and I was awake half the night because my chest was so tight, I was having to take really shallow breaths and it was making me feel panicky. Feeling a little better this morning, just sleepy! So the girls have gone to the library with their Dad, leaving me home alone for the first time in ages!!! I've finished another painting whilst they've been out and now it's time for some online work!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about which direction I want to move in with my art. I would love to be able to do some craft fairs next year - right now I don't have the confidence. I've decided that I'm going to set up an etsy shop, I'm busy working on it now, and hopefully it will be up and running soon. I'm also going to be making a few small changes around here... I've bought my own domain name, so I now own PixieMama.co.uk!!!

All that as well as having 3 girls, 3 cats and a house to look after! If I only had a few extra hours in my day or a pause button for everything!!! Hope you are all having a lovely autumn day

xox

Fighting Fear

source

When I'm crippled with depression, I sit and look at all some people seem to achieve. They create, and connect, and live and truly seem to embrace life and all that it has to offer. Whereas I am sat, alone in my cave, unable to reach out, unable to be apart of the world. 

And I am jealous. I want to be like everyone else. I want to do something. I do not want life to pass me by. I do not want to be an observer.

I want to take part. I want to be involved. I want to make an impact.

I've overcome the worst of my depression this time. And for the first time, I know that I have to make huge changes in my life if I don't want to keep having repeat bouts of depression.

I've trying to overcome my fear of not being good enough, of not having anything to give, of not being important enough, of not being pretty enough...... I think you get the picture.

So, I'm taking part. I'm no longer sitting at home watching the world pass by my window. I'm writing here for a start, I'm painting and creating... and being brave enough to put the photos of it online... I'm connecting with people, in real life as well as here, on facebook, on twitter and on email.

I'm being pro active... I'm putting myself out there, and trying to create the life I dream of. I'm working hard to make it a reality.

BUT... still those niggling fears and doubts plague my mind from time to time. I'm trying to accept that they'll always be there, trying to find a way to ignore them.

"why are you bothering to blog... they're is so many better bloggers than you already"

"you're paintings aren't as good as theirs"

"you're not as interesting as them"

"it'll never work anyway"

"they don't really like you"

"you're just not good enough"

Sometimes, when thoughts are racing through my brain, it all seems to much. I start thinking maybe those thoughts are right. Who am I trying to fool? I'm never going to change anything, and I'll never amount to anything. I should just give up and go back to hiding in my hole.

source

But I'm still here... and I'm fighting. I refuse to give in to my fears. I'm trying not to think about things to much, trying to look at the bigger picture. Remembering that I'm doing all of this for ME... nobody else.

Screw you fear... you will not win this battle.

Belly Cast

One of the things I've been doing whilst I've been so quiet on here is finally getting around to painting the belly cast I made last year when I was pregnant with Baya. (Number 8 in my 29 things to do)

I'm quite pleased with how it turned out... now I just need to hang it somewhere in the house. I'm undecided whether to hide it away in my bedroom or put it somewhere visitors will see it??

lastest painting

Here's what kept me busy last night, and reminded me how theraputic painting is...