Those darn Gremlins

My gremlins have  been very vocal for the last few days. They're this nagging voice inside my head. Always there, sometimes louder than others. Here's a few of the things they're telling me right now:

  • Depression is always going to have a hold on you
  • You're just not good enough
  • The people you're connecting with just don't really care
  • Everyone else is better than you
  • You never finish anything
  • No one will want to buy your art anyway, so why are you painting?
  • Nothing is ever going to change
  • You'll never have the life you dream of so why even try

I've been working hard on ignoring them. Acknowledging them, writing them down and then kindly telling them to fuck off now please.

In the past I've always taken what my gremlins have told me as gospel. Taken every word to heart and let them call the shots. But no longer.

Most of the time I feel like an impostor... that I'm not really an artist, not really a good mother, not really a good person ...... I feel like everyone else is far more confident and competent than I, and that any minute I'm going to be found out and exposed as an fraud.....

I know deep down that none of this is true. Everyone feels this way sometimes, and others don't see me the way I see myself.

Also, my gremlins are shouting louder now because they know that I'm onto them. I'm following my heart and creating and connecting and LIVING. No longer am I living in their shadow, and they are afraid, they can see that they are losing their power.

I'm painting and creating more than ever, and loving every minute of it. I'm putting myself out here, connecting and making new friends, online and IRL. I'm in the process of setting up my very own website (more on that soon). No longer am I sitting back and letting life pass me by, I am a part of it now.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world.” Marianne Williamson


    1. Yay, you go girl. Tell them Gremlins to feck right off! They are the exact same Gremlins that bothered me for years (and still do at times) and I can identify all too well with that feeling of being a fraud!
      You've got a good grip on it now though honey. Sure those Gremlins are gonna test you from time to time but you're definately in the driving seat now. It will get easier too. That I can vouch for. Being positive and purposeful soon starts to pay off we just have to be careful not to let the Gremlins drag us back into their cave. Sometimes you do have to fight to stay out in the light but it's always worth it!

      Much love as always,

    2. I know those gremlins! Say hi from me (with one finger) ;)

    3. Shit, I get those gremlins too...

      Its my kids that pull me through. Even if I can't make time or have the motivation for art or socializing, there is always some *duty* or other to do, to better their chances.

      Good luck with your new site.

    4. You tell 'em xx

      (And if it's a website where I can buy some of your art I'll be very pleased).


    5. That was very enlightening. I never had a name for those damn pests in my head. And thank God I am not alone (I thought I was crazy). Very powerful, insightful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

    6. "my gremlins are shouting louder now because they know that I'm onto them"

      yes! this is brilliant that you recognised this. often 'pushback' sets people right off the tracks. but recognising that when you're moving forward this occurs is a HUGE step towards healing.

      focusing on results is always tricky. i focus on the process with my art, otherwise i would never do it. haven't sold a thing, but it's the love of creativity that ought to drive me, not approval.
      not that it wouldn't be nice to sell something... ;)

    7. I know those gremlins! Say hi from me (with one finger) ;)


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