look deep into nature...

Leah Flores

when everything gets on top of me, and i'm feeling overwhelmed... the best thing i can do is drop everything, pack picnic and head out into nature. away from the computer, and the noise, and the never ending to-do list. out where i can hear the birds singing and the river whooshing by. down to the river, where the kiddos can paddle and build dams, and we can eat under the shade of a tree. or up a mountain where i can see for miles.

without the distractions of daily life and the constant humming of the computer or my phone i can think. think through all the things that i'm not sure about and everything seems a little easier. i long to run away into the wilds of nature and stay there - far away from the modern world. 

we've just been kitting ourselves out ready to do some camping - my heart is excited at the thought of it!! any tips for taking kiddos camping??

p.s i decided to keep the free shipping offer running a while longer, and this week all earrings are buy one pair, get a pair free!! head HERE to shop now!

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be who you want

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I think there are times that we all envy others. We look, as an outsider, at their life and feel jealous that we are not them. We think that if only we were prettier, smarter, funnier, richer, happier, then everything would be ok. We spend our lifes trying to be who other people want us to be, or at least who we think they want us to be. Seeking our parents approval, our partners, our friends, societies... we do what we think we should. We forget to listen to our own hearts, to seek out who we are and what we want to be.

Not accepting ourselves is harmful and wasteful. Ignoring who we are to focus on what we could be. 

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

Kurt Cobain

Take some time out, go outside, run around barefoot in the grass. Lie down and watch the clouds float by. Clear your mind and let the real you break free. Remind yourself of you, of the things you love, of the wants you have, of the life you dream of.

And then be you. 100% you... not a watered down version. Forget about treading on someone's toes. Forget about upsetting someone for not following their dream for your life. 

Learn to love yourself unconditionally. Stop telling yourself " If only I were thinner" "If only I were smarter"...  Make a list of all the great things about yourself, all the skills you have, all the achievements you've made. If you're stuck rope in a good friend. Pin it up somewhere you can see it every single day.

Trust yourself... believe that your thoughts and beliefs are valid ~ and hold on to them. Don't change them to make someone else happy.

Don't try and be someone you are not... if you hate group situations, then that's ok. If you prefer staying in to going ok, that's fine. It is ok to be true to yourself, to please nobody buy you, to live the life you choose even if it is different to the 'norm'.

Above all else, remember:

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One Word

One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

2010: Broken


2011: Acceptance

List 17: Authentically Me

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• After a lifetime of being a night owl, I'm slowly realising how much I love early mornings!
• I am insecure
• I laugh a lot
• And cry a lot
• People often comment on how smiley I am
• I'm a terrible napper - I wake up in a FOUL mood
• I would love to live in Italy one day (or Greece, or Spain... actually just somewhere warmer and drier than Wales!)
• I singing REALLY loud in the house
• I'm finding my way as an artist
• I'm trying to worry less
•  I talk to myself.... a lot
• I want to live a life full of joy
• and spread joy to everyone else

p.s did you enter the giveaway yet??

Who Am I?

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“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
-Winne the Pooh

I've been feeling a little lost the last few days. I've been focused on fighting the depression for the last few months, trying to overcome my fears and finding my joy again. As things level out, the depression has subsised, I've activly fighting fear everyday and joy is filling my days again, I'm finding that there is still a niggling voice inside my head, whispering over and over "but who are you?"

I've spent years feeling that who I am isn't good enough, that I don't count. I always felt that I was inferior to everyone else around me and that the things I liked/wanted/thought/did were wrong. So... I spent years trying to be someone else. Trying to be like others around me, trying to be something different depending on who I was with... trying to be who I thought they wanted me to be. Of course, that never worked. I was always chasing after this fictional person, always trying to figure out what people wanted from me. It caused me even more heartache.

Now, I'm on a mission for authenticity. But, after a lifetime of trying to be someone else, I'm struggling to figure out who I actually am. I still think that people won't like me for who I acutally am. I stuggle to give myself the power to stand up and say THIS IS ME. And I'm realising that I don't know who I am..... I need to delve deep inside me and work out the things that matter to me. But most importantly I need to learn to be proud of who I am, and unafraid to let others see me.

There have been many melancholy moments lately, an ache deep inside me, a sadness and a yearning although I'm not sure what for. Part of it is the season, for I always feel this way when autumn arrives. Part of it is the depression trying to take hold again. I'm strong enough now to know that things are fine. To be extra kind to myself when I am feeling blue. To sit tight and ride it out. To live in the moment and not worry about the future. 

When I'm feeling melancholy, when the voices are whispering "no-one likes you" I can ignore them... remind myself that isn't true. Remind myself of the messages and visits from friends. Know that they wouldn't ask to meet up if they didn't want to, know that my thoughts are not always the truth.

This is me here, being authentic... admitting that I don't know who I am... and hoping that's ok to admit.

dear fear

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I am enough

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 For a long time, I have felt inadequate as a person. I've felt that nothing about me measures up to any one else. I've spent my life chasing after a version of me that just doesn't exist. I always thought that if I could just be more like 'X' then everything would be fine, or if I do exactly what 'Y' has done then things will work out.

I hated myself so much that I couldn't see any thing good in me, I couldn't see how any one else could like let alone love me. I had no faith in myself, I didn't trust myself to make the right decision, or the confidence to just be myself.

Trying to be someone else has done me no good. I've struggled and struggled through life, hating every inch of myself. Wishing to vanish. The one thing that has slowly started to make a difference in the last 6 months is to accept that I am enough. I don't need to be anyone else, I don't need to do what someone else does, or think what they think, or like what they like. I am on my own path, and I have to stop fighting and start accepting.

I am enough and I am doing my best.
I am enough and I am doing my best.

I am enough and I am doing my best.

Repeating in my head over and over, when I feel stressed or blue or inadequate.

The bad stuff is always easier to believe than the good, and easier to remember too. But I'm giving it up. I don't want to look back on my life with regret. All there is is the here and now. I am me and I am enough. I am not someone else and the path that I am taking is the right one.

The last couple of weeks, I've been feeling unsure about my art. I keep comparing myself to other artists, people who have been working on it for years and years (not months and months). I've been allowing myself to feel inadequate. I've been wondering why I'm even bothering as I'm never going to compete with all that they've achieved.

Then some wise words came in an email to me. A friend saying that as much is her love of creating it's only a PART if her life. That she has no desire to build a huge career out of it. Her words sat with me, and I began to realise that I love painting and creating. It fills my soul with joy, and makes me feel so good. I love my simple life, the fact that I can spend so much time with my 3 girls while they are little. I realised that I don't feel the need to create a huge career out of this. I paint because I love it... and if I can spread some of that love by sharing my art then even better. But I don't need or want to compete with others. They are on their path and I am on mine. And I am happy with where the road is leading....

I AM ENOUGH

Love YOUR life

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“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

Live YOUR life, love it,make the most of it.... enjoy every single step of the journey. Your journey is unique to you, so different to everyone else's that there are always new lessons you can learn from their journey.


Do not compare, complain or criticize about your life. Most of us have the habit of comparing the worst of our lifes with the best of others. The path you are on is the path that is meant for you... for you to learn the things you need.


p.s.... watch out tomorrow for the first in a series of interviews with people who have fought their fears and are following their dreams!

My perfect protest

I am joining Brene Brown's most awesome Perfect Protest in honor of her insightful book The Gifts of Imperfection. I'm looking forward to reading it.

I've always thought that I had to be perfect.... to be loved, to be liked, to be happy. I've spent years trying to be perfect, a task that has very nearly broken me. Now I'm slowly learning that being my best self doesn't mean having to be perfect. That people will still love me inspite of my imperfections. That the world will not stop if I'm not perfect.

Now I'm working on letting go of what other people think and instead knowing that who I am is enough.



p.s don't forget to go enter the giveaway - today is the last day! 

List 12 : Dreams

• to live in a quaint cottage by the sea

• to have a circle of close girlfriends

• to learn to play the  guitar

• to visit Morroco

• to create more

• to practice yoga every day

• to reach out to friends

• write more

• be open to new opportunites

• fall in love with myself

• throw more parties

• stay grounded

Those darn Gremlins

My gremlins have  been very vocal for the last few days. They're this nagging voice inside my head. Always there, sometimes louder than others. Here's a few of the things they're telling me right now:

• Depression is always going to have a hold on you
• You're just not good enough
• The people you're connecting with just don't really care
• Everyone else is better than you
• You never finish anything
• No one will want to buy your art anyway, so why are you painting?
• Nothing is ever going to change
• You'll never have the life you dream of so why even try

I've been working hard on ignoring them. Acknowledging them, writing them down and then kindly telling them to fuck off now please.

In the past I've always taken what my gremlins have told me as gospel. Taken every word to heart and let them call the shots. But no longer.

Most of the time I feel like an impostor... that I'm not really an artist, not really a good mother, not really a good person ...... I feel like everyone else is far more confident and competent than I, and that any minute I'm going to be found out and exposed as an fraud.....

I know deep down that none of this is true. Everyone feels this way sometimes, and others don't see me the way I see myself.

Also, my gremlins are shouting louder now because they know that I'm onto them. I'm following my heart and creating and connecting and LIVING. No longer am I living in their shadow, and they are afraid, they can see that they are losing their power.

I'm painting and creating more than ever, and loving every minute of it. I'm putting myself out here, connecting and making new friends, online and IRL. I'm in the process of setting up my very own website (more on that soon). No longer am I sitting back and letting life pass me by, I am a part of it now.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world.” Marianne Williamson

Keep Going

 When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Although right now, it might not feel like it, or seem like it.... but don't give up. That special thing that you have prayed for, cried over and put your whole being into... it is happening. 

You will get there. Maybe not today... but to enjoy the good stuff fully, you have to have felt the bad stuff along the way.

Keep going and don't ever give up. 

Look out tomorrow for our very first Guest Post! And stay tuned this week for a super exciting giveaway.

You are on your way to where you want to be.... never forget how amazing you are right now.

list 11: places i'd like to go

• machu piccu

• san fransisco 

• moroco

• venice

• big sur

• israel

• Goa

exciting things are brewing here, stay tuned for excitement next week :D