be who you want

♥

I think there are times that we all envy others. We look, as an outsider, at their life and feel jealous that we are not them. We think that if only we were prettier, smarter, funnier, richer, happier, then everything would be ok. We spend our lifes trying to be who other people want us to be, or at least who we think they want us to be. Seeking our parents approval, our partners, our friends, societies... we do what we think we should. We forget to listen to our own hearts, to seek out who we are and what we want to be.

Not accepting ourselves is harmful and wasteful. Ignoring who we are to focus on what we could be. 

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

Kurt Cobain

Take some time out, go outside, run around barefoot in the grass. Lie down and watch the clouds float by. Clear your mind and let the real you break free. Remind yourself of you, of the things you love, of the wants you have, of the life you dream of.

And then be you. 100% you... not a watered down version. Forget about treading on someone's toes. Forget about upsetting someone for not following their dream for your life. 

Learn to love yourself unconditionally. Stop telling yourself " If only I were thinner" "If only I were smarter"...  Make a list of all the great things about yourself, all the skills you have, all the achievements you've made. If you're stuck rope in a good friend. Pin it up somewhere you can see it every single day.

Trust yourself... believe that your thoughts and beliefs are valid ~ and hold on to them. Don't change them to make someone else happy.

Don't try and be someone you are not... if you hate group situations, then that's ok. If you prefer staying in to going ok, that's fine. It is ok to be true to yourself, to please nobody buy you, to live the life you choose even if it is different to the 'norm'.

Above all else, remember:

♥

On Contentment

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

This time last year I wasn't in a good place. I was depressed, I was incredibly sad, I wasn't content, I wasn't happy with my life. What a differnece a year makes! I and my life are unrecognisable from a year ago. This time last year, I drank to drown my sorrows and felt like a total failure. Now I am tee-total, I am happy with who I am, happy with my life, I have this blog and my own business. I finally feel as though I am comfortable in my skin - that I am the person I was always meant to be.

Life hasn't been easy, there have been many obstacles along the way. And I have played the victim role perfectly. I have allowed the things that have happened to me to overtake everything else. Instead of standing up and saying "I will not let this define me", I've sat back and been a passenger in my own life.

Something finally changed in me last year. I hated myself most for being a victim, for complaining not doing, for feeling sorry for myself, for being worthless. For a long time I was looking for someone or something that could magically change everything for the better. Then I realised that that person was me. No one else could help me. No one else could make my life what I wanted.

I dug deep and thought long and hard. I had what a lot of people spend years searching for. I have a husband who loves me, and would do anything for me. I have 3 beautiful daughters. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, clothes and books, and my freedom. What more could I want? Really?

Yes, I had dreams of something bigger and better. Of living a glamourous life, of being rich, of doing lots of exxciting things. But I don't need anything else. I learnt to appreciate what I have, instead of yearning for what I don't.

So, I got off my butt, I stopped drinking and started doing. One day at a time. Made myself think positive thoughts. Started sewing and painting and creating again. Remembered the joy that I found in being creative. Appreciated all the small things. Stopped fretting about the future and enjoyed the now.

And here I am - just turned 30 - with a home, and a husband, and a family, and my own business. With the freedom to live my life how I want. To spend all day with my girls, to enjoy all the small pleasures. To just be me. 

And that is enough for me.

“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” - Cicero

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List 38: Things I've learnt in the last year

• Realise anything is possible
• Love what you already have
• Be grateful for your life
• Be aware of how you talk to yourself
• Complain less and
• Smile more
• Don't compare yourself to others, but
• Do be inspired by them
• Stamp out negative thoughts and
• Replace each one with a postive thought
• Don't see it as a failure, see it as a step to success
• Act as though you're who/where you want to be already

and one last piece of advice - go enter the 1st April Sponsor Giveaway!!!

How to be an artist